Dear Friends,
It has been a bit since I've written you...let's see...since my first chemo (Apr. 15th)! Hmmm....that should tell you something!! It did me in!! I went back a week later for a planned appointment for a blood draw (that's when your white count is at it's lowest and they like to check it) and to see the oncologist as she wanted to hear how I felt chemo had gone for me! Well, the blood draw showed that my white count which had been 6500 the week of chemo had dropped to 800. Way too low for their liking...I was very dehydrated...my blood pressure was very low...I'd lost more weight during that week....etc... Dr. Ellis said my blood work looked bad and I looked even worse. In my brave little way, I started crying and told her I felt horrible and needed some help!! She said she couldn't have a patient looking like that:) and had me stay for a round of i.v.'s. When Steve and I finally left at 7:30 that night I was feeling much, much better!! There is nothing like HOPE!! Hope in i.v.'s that drip into you bringing strength, antibiotics, hydration, and most gratefully, more anti-nausea medicine, etc...a realization that you don't have to feel that badly because they can help! Hope in the quick actions of the dr. that say "you need to be taken care of and I will do it". (Aren't those wonderful words to we women who are most often on the caregiver end...but I tell you, when you're sick and cannot do any more than you are doing and and hear these words...they are a great comfort). And hope as the nurses running the i.v. say "you poor thing" (well, I don't think they really meant that last word literally!) and tell you that you can call anytime you are feeling that badly and they will be there to help..."come in next time before you get this bad"..etc. Hope that there is always help available! And over it all, it was God's voice of hope to me in it all!!
I also have seen the surgeon finally for a post-op visit and than had 2 physical therapy appts. I love the gal for this and she has really helped me sort out the sensations in my arm and under my arm. Apparently I have lymphadema in my upper arm and she worked today to get some of the swelling out of it through massage and will help me next week learn some of those techniques myself. Hopefully that will bring some relief to the pain there!
I also saw my primary care/internist dr. last week because all week I had such pain in my gall bladder site.(The last time I saw her was for this same issue but she sent me out the door with a breast cancer diagnosis!) Anyway, she determined that every time I showed her where the "gall bladder surgical pain" was I traced a band of nerves that follows my lower rib cage. She felt that it was very possible this band was damaged by the difficult removal of my gall bladder. I was very encouraged to have what I felt was a very likely explanation for the pain. I am taking some nerve pain meds that should kick in this week and I will be one happy camper to have that pain under control...even taken care of! It will even help with the nerve pain from my lymph node surgery...where...when I take a drink of water...a shocking pain shoots down my right upper arm! Hey, this will be great if that goes away, too! Hope!!
So, that's what's been happening! Here are the couple of upcoming things that I would love you to pray for:
Tomorrow morning (Tuesday) I have a port put in at 9:30 am. Only a 45 minute surgery...ugh, it's just that's it's another surgery...but I'll be glad to have this in, for sure!!
And on Wednesday, I have my 2nd chemo...not too excited about that but I do know they are going to "tweak" it so I will hopefully do better than last time...and I am sure hoping they're right!!!
I did get to Rachel's shower that Saturday after chemo...thanks so much for praying. I was a little grey around the gills but the shower was so wonderfully and specially given and it went so beautifully! I also went to our family shower for her this past Saturday which was also so very special and beautifully planned and I felt so much better this time. This "3 weeks after chemo feeling the best in the cycle" is true. The next 3 week time will be the weekend of the wedding! So I have hope to be feeling pretty good for that, too!!! I am ever so grateful for the sweet love in those giving these showers for her!! What a blessing they both were!!
Now, for the most special thing I want to share with you. I knew I would be losing my hair but with everything coming at me so fast, I did not really think about all the ramifications of that. My daughter-in-law Rebekah however, saw the need coming and offered to cut her hair for me to help make a wig. The other daughters-in-law Kristen and Jenny...and Rachel (soon to be such!) all wanted to cut their hair for me, too. The oncologist had told me of "Anton's" in Bellevue and that they do wonderful wigs from real hair and she highly recommended them. Now, I didn't want the girls to cut their beautiful hair...especially before the wedding but...before I knew it....the 3 girls had each cut 8-10 inches off of their heads!! And made an appt for me at Antons. He took all their different colors (red, brown, black) and Rachel's blond (she just had him cut a snippet from hers...she's the bride after all!) and stripped them, colored them and wove them into a wig for me!! The girls came back with me and helped shave my shedding head...and offered their moral support as I was donned with the wig and Kurt cut and styled it! And lo and behold, I looked like ME again! I cannot tell you what a gift that was!! In this cancer world nothing seems really normal and I had no idea until I lost my hair...what a gift, what a strengthening, encouraging, rich gift it would be to my very soul...to look like MYSELF...in it all. My daughters sacrificially, lovingly , joyfully gave me this sweetest of gifts...and then gently, kindly encouragingly walked with me...tightly held in their hugs...through the whole process. I stand totally humbled by their love, totally overwhelmed by their gift, beautifully adorned by their hair. I am blessed beyond words!! They are my joy and my crown!! literally!!
In all of this, I am thanking God for His sweet and tender care of me...through drs., nurses, friends and family. I am so overwhelmed with all of the ways I am being cared for...and I am so very grateful. Thank you for praying for me!
Love to you, my dear, sweet friends,
Paula
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