A Beautiful Soul

Dear Paula,

I have been thinking about you all day today, I am sure all of us have really. But you have been on my heart and mind especially knowing that you had another round of chemo. I know how dreaded these appointments have become for you and I am so sorry that you have to go through this..really really sorry. You are a very brave woman with the most beautiful outlook and watching you take each painstaking step towards healing and ridding your body of this cancer, it amazes me how you just keep going and focusing on what fills and refreshes your soul.

I have been looking at my boys the past few days and can not believe how old they are getting..still young but wow the time sure does fly by doesn't it. We are going to take a look at a little preschool on Friday for Simon for the Fall. I am not sure if we will end up enrolling him but it baffles my mind that he is already ready for preschool. I have learned so much over the past few years becoming a Mother and a Wife. Of course I have much much more to learn but in so many ways I have you to credit for guiding, encouraging, teaching me and cheering me on. That is truly what you do best Paula, you are a caretaker and Mother no matter what you are going through - thank you.

..looking at the boys tonight it is so hard to not picture you and Steve when your family was young. Part of it is that my boys hold your reflection in their faces, especially Simon. Yesterday at dinner I said:

"Simon you look so much like Grandma to me tonight" to which he smiled and said

"oh because of the ketchup I rubbed in my hair" ha ha..

"no Simon because you have her eyes.."

the humor continues through the generations doesn't it. But you and Steve together have built such a beautiful heritage. That was evident, so evident last Saturday at Simon's Birthday Party. All the family gathered around celebrating life to the fullest! What a glorious gift to behold..four generations were there no less and I am still reveling in the blessing of being with you and with this family that you have truly fostered with hands, arms, words of love..thank you.

Chris and I have been talking allot about our own family and whether or not we should grow it or be done and content with our two darling boys. Either way I know we will be so happy but when I look at your family and think.."what if Chris had been a girl?" you guys might have stopped at three and then there would be no Chris, Me and the boys or Jeff, Jenny and little Wes..crazy and marvelous to think how God chooses each of us and prepares us for this life while we are still in the womb. He gives us strength and courage to endure all that he has and brings it all around for His glory!

I have had the words to that Third Day song in my head all day, the one we played in our wedding:

"All your children gather in peace, and the angels sing in heaven
In your temple all that I seek is to glimpse your Holy presence

All the heavens cannot hold you Lord, how much less to dwell in me.
I can only make my one desire holding onto Thee."

Thank you for your wisdom, love, and courage. I am praying hard for you tonight and know that this too shall pass Paula and that somehow God and his glory will be seen in it all!

I love you,
Rebekah